It’s all about Usability!

A moment of silence with a weired feeling of fear comes to me when i remember that day! The day of the monkeys tribe attack in my last trip to Thailand! The place is called “Monkey Beach” close to phi-phi island.

It was a sunny day, cool weather, breath taking nature and a crystal clear beach… Simply, the perfect day! it was my second day on phi-phi island and i’ve decided to cruise around the island and checkout the near islands. so i rented a kayak and went on my mission to explore the unknown…

It was a bit scary going alone kayaking deeply into the ocean, but still was a nice feeling although i don’t know what was swimming below me in the deep water and i didn’t really want to know. that area was known for having white sharks, but they say it’s friendly and doesn’t attack humans! well i didn’t want to test their will, so i kept on rowing until i reached my destination, The so called “Monkey Island”!!!

There were people on the beach!, some came with boats and some came kayaking just like me. The island was like a green mountain having a sandy beach from one side, really nice and interesting view!

I parked my kayak on the beach and went around the island looking for something to make myself busy with! i thought of the monkey ofcourse since it’s the monkey island!

There you go! found the monkeys! it looked tiny & stupid with funny cute faces and red butts garbing & eating bananas, ships and all kinds of food from people’s hands. Hmmm ok! funny, cute… what the hell, fuck the monkeys, i’m going somewhere else!

So i decided to climb up the mountain and check out the island -inside out- and see the view from above, kinda looks interesting! “For the record, i was only wearing my swimming shorts, my favorite flip-flops or “shahhata” and my cool carrera shades ;)”

Up we go!, i started climbing up the mountain, it was a bit hard because of my flip-flops and since the it was kinda vertical, so i had to climb using my hands as well! pretty tough but i was keen to reach the top to see that view. I never though of how to come back or climb down, never came to my mind at that time.

I felt tired after reaching the middle, so i took a rest on a rock that i found, it wasn’t really a rest since i had my butt resting on a rock in a semi vertical position and my legs pushing on another rock to keep my balance! but it was enough to catch a breath.

So i looked down to see how far i went, it was almost the middle… i had another sharp look below and i saw a line of monkeys climbing up really fast in an organized troop like they’re walking a path or something, headed by a fat monkey that looked like the one leading them up. i said “what the fuck, it’s just a bunch of monkeys” i didn’t give a shit and started climbing again.

But wait! it looks different now, i started hearing sounds from all around that looked like monkeys talking to each other! i said to myself… “maybe i should come back down, it’s not cool anymore!” so i turned back and was shocked to see that the monkeys troop that was climbing up was heading towards me! i stopped and came back to the “butt rock” since it was the only place that i can sit on.

A couple of minutes and the monkeys were facing me or in other words, they were surrounding me! at that moment, i had an overwhelming feeling that i was in a really deep shit and i didn’t know what to do… lots of things were comeing to my mind! jump, attack, call for help, try and talk to the monkeys! i just didn’t know what to do!

While i was busy thinking of what to do and having flashbacks of my childhood and happy days plus the things i did wrong in my life, the fat monkey leader moves and comes closer to me. He simply sits his little red ass on the same rock that i was pushing my legs on and starts starring at me. i look around and saw that all of these creatures were starring at me! i though of making a move by kicking the leader and then running down, but it was a stupid idea knowing that i’ll reach down in pieces!

So i looked at the ground trying to find something worth giving to a monkey! nothing there except rocks, branches and leafs. so i grabbed a leaf and slowly gave it to the fat monkey! Good news, he took it from me “It worked, i fooled the stupid monkey! now i have to make a move.”

The fat monkey took the leaf from me while still keeping the eye contact with me, he smells it and takes a small bite an THEN, throws it at me! AND…

Well i didn’t see that coming!!! that stupid cute monkey face turns into an angry scary face with freaking sharp teeth all over! and he starts making sounds and jumping while beating the ground, the same was happening with the rest of the monkeys which by the way was 8! 8 fucken monkey!

*take a mental picture just to see the what i was into at that moment!*

Okay! i had to do something at that moment but i couldn’t! because whatever i do or wherever i look i see crazy monkeys surrounding me! and trying to approach me…

I stopped thinking and took a deep breath and moved my butt from that rock. Suddenly, what i was praying for not to happen, happened!

A monkey jumped on me from nowhere, i wasn’t the one controlling myself at that moment… so i kicked the monkey away and jumped over the fat leader “that was surprisingly still standing there” and started running down the mountain while the kicked monkey was bouncing back at me wanting a big piece of me. i was running but i wasn’t really touching the ground it was sort of flying but on slow motion. all of a sudden i trapped on something and weeheee… i lost control and started tumbling down the way until i reached a flat ground!

I looked around and saw a bunch of people screaming and i looked back to see my left flip-flop stuck on the side of a tree! i quickly ran and grabbed it while the monkeys were all gathered there shouting and jumping like crazy! then turned my face back to the people who where gathered jumping and screaming as well.

*Pretty much the same view, i found that monkeys and humans are pretty much the same*

I was totally lost at that moment and feeling nothing, no pain no nothing! when people around me kept asking “Are You Okay?, What happened?, Oh My God You’re Bleeding!, Did They Scratch You!?” and others were bluffing in languages that i never heard before… i say back while walking towards the beach “I’m Okay, I’m Okay… Pffft, Stupid monkey!” and kept on walking towards the beach while people are still jumping and screaming, some were still talking to me and one cute girl was touching my back saying! “You’re bleeding! You’re bleeding” in a funny Italian way. i took her hand off my back and shouted at her “I said i’m Ok!”

*I know that was stupid of me! How many times comes with a cute Italian chick touching your back and keeps on saying “your bleeding! your bleeding!”*

It took sometime for people to get away from me… i remember some where telling me stories about them having similar accidents and some asking me if i want to drink something and others where bluffing in funny languages… everybody on the fucken island knew of my story and wanted to know details.

After i was done telling people what happened and listening to their stories, i started feeling the pain! “it was adrenaline that was behind feeling nothing at that time!” i went to clean my wounds and discover that the bottom of my feet was totally screwed because i dipped my feet in the sea water and saw the blood

coming out, plus feeling a deadly burn because the salty water! that was a really bad idea, but i had to clean my wounds!

In total, i ended up having a sore knee, fucked up feet bottoms and fingers, part of left hand skin was off, and my back was scratched and wounded! in general i was totally screwed.

The funny part was that i came kayaking so i had to come back doing the same! and i did… i don’t remember how long it took me, but i remember reaching there at noon and paying for extra two or three hours knowing that i took the kayak shit for two hours! anyways, i had to pay while smiling coz i wasn’t really keen to take shit from what looked to me a drunk Thai pirate or drug dealer.

I don’t what to mention what happened next, how i treated my wounds, where and how i felt then… and how i was popular in that island for the next two days. it’s just too much to handle

That was my story with the monkeys for those who already knew it and those wo wanted to know about it 8(

I hate those stupid little creatures!!! i hate’em!

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